Well, it's official. I have to go to Chicago to get my visa. So if anyone wants to hitch a ride down to Chicago, they should let me know. The visa section of the Consulate is only open from 9 am to 12:30 pm, and an appointment is required. So I'm probably going to be leaving around 4 am. I'll worry about that next week. Anyone who wants to tag along should tell me which days they have available!
I actually did it! I think I'm getting the hang of this LSAT thing. Plus, tonight I told the spirit of fear that it's not in charge; I have been given a sound mind! Aside from a few last minute preparations, I actually feel ready to take this test.
So I tried a new strategy on my practice LSAT today. It was to slow down a little in the reading comprehension section, since I tend to miss questions because I'm in a hurry. Bad idea. With 2 minutes to go, I had a passage with a scientific topic (ugh) that had 8 questions with it (as opposed to the usual 5 - 7). Needless to say, that wasn't a good strategy. I guess I'm glad I'm learning it now, rather than on test day, but I was hoping to get a very high score again today. As it is, I scored nearly perfectly on every section but the reading comprehension part, and I still only managed to achieve a 165. Live and learn.
168. I'd be happy if I got a 168 on the real thing, which is next Saturday, by the way. Then I can quit blogging about LSAT scores and move on to something more exciting (and less stressful). My last four scores have been: 167, 165, 169, 168. My average is moving up. I haven't had below a 165 in awhile. More updates later...
So I actually thought I had the coveted 170 (argh; no coveting allowed!), but it turns out that for this particular test administration, they removed one of the questions from scoring. So my score was actually a 169. But still. Now I know that I have the potential to reach 170. Updates on future scores will come later this week.
I finally broke the 166 tonight! Admittedly, it was only by one point, but you'd be surprised by how much of an encouragement that one point increase is. It gives me a reason to keep studying!
September is flying by. I'm getting nervous, because I'm taking the LSAT on the 30th. Yikes! In a few minutes, I'm going to take practice test #10. My best score so far has been about 2-4 points lower than I'd like, which, of course, doesn't seem like much. But it can make a big difference to schools. So the studying continues.
In other news, I'm about to finally be able to get the contract that I need from the French government for my visa. It's been a process, but I'm picking up my documents from my translator tomorrow. I had to have several documents translated by a certified translator for the French government. That's not cheap, let me tell you. But if you ever need a certified French translator, let me know, and I'll pass along his name! Once I send the documents to the French government, Caroline should be able to get the contract, sign it, and send it to me. Then I'll send off for my visa. But I have to do it before October 1, because after that, they're changing the rules, and all visa requests must be made in person, which would mean I'd have to go to Chicago. So if I don't get it done in time...road trip, anyone?
I'll also be buying my plane ticket, probably next week. I think I'm going to be leaving on November 14...two months from today.
All right...study time! Let's see if I can break a 166 today!
Paperwork, you ask? Yes, paperwork. I know that's not very edgy or exciting or original. But. That's what going on in my life right now. I'm still trying to muddle my way through the French bureaucracy and trying to figure out what exactly I need (various forms, etc.). It doesn't help when all your communication is by email in your non-native tongue. It's great practice, but it sure is time-consuming. And then there's letters of recommendation for law school, transcripts, personal statements, and about 15-20 hours per week of LSAT studying. Not to mention all the paperwork on my desk at work. I'll be glad when I'm finally there, in France, sans paper! Well, I'm sure there will still be some paper in my life, but hopefully much, much less.
On another note, here's a familiar passage that struck me last night (Philippians 1:12 -21):
Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in {the cause of} Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. Some, to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from good will; the latter {do it} out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but {that} with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
…for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, {that is,} through the living and enduring word of God…And this is the word which was preached to you.
I think I made the right choice when I decided to take this au pair position in France. I grappled with it a little bit, knowing that by taking the job, I was excluding myself from any other (non-au pair) position that could potentially come my way. As I've said, I felt like being an au pair (in a situation where I would be speaking French, not English) would be the best from the standpoint of a linguistic immersion. Also, I didn't know if there would be any potential internships coming my way. However, I did not hear the Lord audibly say, "Take this job." I prayed about it, asked the Lord to lead and guide me, and asked Him to close the door if this wasn't where He wanted me. And when I thought about taking this job, I felt peace. In addition, I haven't had to do very much to get this job. This family has been pursuing me. Things seem to just be falling in place. But still, there's that thought in the back of my mind, What if this isn't the right thing? What if you agree to take this job, and then something better comes along next week? That's where faith comes in, and, instead of merely rationalizing my decision with my intellect, I have to simply believe God. I need to not only believe that He's leading me and speaking to me, but also that He's not going to abandon me in France, even if I do make "the wrong choice."
Well, this morning I got what I believe is a confirmation from God. I received an email from one of my France contacts. He just got back from a vacation in France and had passed along my information to a lawyer friend of his. This friend said that occasionally they do hire interns/law clerks, but they are not paid (which, per my contact, is a common practice, as law clerks receive free training). He said, "...there'’s a possibility [and not with that firm - I'd have to find something else], but maybe not exactly what you had in mind." The email screamed (to me), "Not falling into place! Not working out!"
Decisions have never been my strong suit. My natural inclination is to intellectualize/rationalize until I'm sure that I've made the right one. I have to cover all my bases, make sure that I've thought through every angle. And it seems that I often come to that place where I've thought it through (over and over and over again), and I can't come to the "best" conclusion. I can't figure out what the right choice is. God has been teaching me that I need move forward in faith. And that faith is not in myself and in my own ability to save myself - because I can't! My faith is in God and in his saving grace. In fact, that reminds me of a Scripture. When I got born again (2/19/03), I began to devour the Scriptures. My mom gave me a Bible in the New Living Translation, and I really began to understand what the Scriptures meant. Philippians 3 was one of my favorite chapters. I especially like verse 9:
...I no longer count on my own goodness or my ability to obey God's law, but I trust Christ to save me. For God's way of making us right with Himself depends on faith.Likewise, I can't put my trust in myself and in my own ability to make the right decision. Rather, I need to trust God to save me!
Finally. I received a response from Caroline today! She answered (almost) all of my questions, and we're getting the process started now. I have to send her a host of documents tomorrow, and she'll be getting me registered at a language school. Yes, in order to obtain the au pair visa, I am obligated to prove that I'll be taking French courses while I'm there. I already have a pretty good level of French (according to the native Francophones with whom I've spoken), and I'm going to be speaking French all day with the family (yay!); you'd think that'd be enough. I'd prefer to have the free time instead, but I guess I can't change the French government's policies. Anyway, I'm extremely excited, but I don't think it has actually sunk in yet. I think I'm waiting until I get the official offer letter from her, and then I'll actually start to think it's real. I can't wait to see my friend Sarah, and I'm extremely happy that she's made a new friend there! It really is a "coincidence" that we prayed for her at church last night (early in the morning Switzerland time), and she ended up going to church that morning and meeting a new friend. God had it all planned out. He directs our steps. Praise Him!
I'm taking a short study break. I know, I know. It's only been ninety minutes. I'm going back to it right now. But first, I wanted to post something that I thought was funny. God is funny. I was thinking about peace and not being anxious, and then I read today's "My Utmost for His Highest", entitled "Are you ever disturbed?":
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you." John 14:27
There are times when our peace is based upon ignorance, but when we awaken to the facts of life, inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus. When Our Lord speaks peace, He makes peace, His words are ever "spirit and life." Have I ever received what Jesus speaks? "My peace I give unto you" - it is a peace which comes from looking into His face and realizing His undisturbedness.
Are you painfully disturbed just now, distracted by the waves and billows of God's providential permission, and having, as it were, turned over the boulders of your belief, are you still finding no well of peace or joy or comfort; is all barren? Then look up and receive the undisturbedness of the Lord Jesus. Reflected peace is the proof that you are right with God because you are at liberty to turn your mind to Him. If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself. If you allow anything to hide the face of Jesus Christ from you, you are either disturbed or you have a false security.
Are you looking unto Jesus now, in the immediate matter that is pressing and receiving from Him peace? If so, He will be a gracious benediction of peace in and through you. But if you try to worry it out, you obliterate Him and deserve all you get. We get disturbed because we have not been considering Him. When one confers with Jesus Christ the perplexity goes, because He has no perplexity, and our only concern is to abide in Him. Lay it all out before Him, and in the face of difficulty, bereavement and sorrow, hear Him say, "Let not your heart be troubled."
Another verse comes to mind, in light of what Chambers said in the sentence that I put in bold text:
"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy."Back to studying!
-James 3:17 (contrasting wisdom from above with earthly, natural, demonic wisdom)
I sent an email to Caroline with my many questions. That was on Wednesday, and I haven't heard back from her yet. I wonder if I scared her off? Oh, well. If that's the case, it probably wouldn't have been worth it anyway. If I don't hear back from her by Monday, I will send her an email to verify that she received mine. I really got my hopes up about this family, because they seemed to be a really good fit for me. However, if it doesn't end up happening, I know that God has better plans for me!
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."Lord, You know that I want to go to France. In fact, I believe that You have placed that desire within me. Thank You for knowing the plans that You have for me. You know that my timing to go to France would be soon. You have poured out Your grace on us, so I thank You for the grace to wait on You and Your timing. Thank You for Your peace! I will not be anxious.
-Philippians 4:7-8
I spent about 2 hours today (2 hours that I really don't have) working on an email to the woman with whom I've been corresponding (her name is Caroline). The email is a list of about 25 questions that sprang to my mind after receiving Caroline's offer email last night. Since I was writing in French, I had to work twice as hard to make sure that I didn't sound rude or presumptuous. Now I'm exhausted, and I just want to go to bed. But instead, I have to stay here at my office and work. But the hard work (at least for this step of the way) is over, and all I have to do is wait until she sends me the answers to all my questions, give her my final yes, and then wait for the contract to come (I have to have that before I can apply for my visa). If all goes well, I should be heading over there in November. I should know within the next few days.
Well, I didn't expect to be writing this post so soon, and maybe I should have waited until I knew for sure (I did give out the URL to a couple of people yesterday), but I'm too excited! I just received an email from the family with whom I've been corresponding in France. They say that I can come in November! The subject line of the email was "I have Gabriela's response" (that's the Czech au-pair). I was nervous when I opened it, because I thought that it was going to say that it wouldn't work out for me to come in November (not that that would have been horrible or anything). But here is text of the email:
chère Deborah, c'est OK, Gabriela peut venior du 23 septembre jusqu'en Novembre quand tu arrives. Donc pour notre famille c'est OK de t 'accueillir chez nous dés que tu peux. Les enfants se réjouissent. Regardes quel avion tu pourras prendre dès que tu auras le visa, envoie moi aussi l'acte de naissance , la photocopie du passseport, le diplôme d'étude etc..;peux-tu m'écrire maintenant pour me dire si c'est OK, ??
Ha ha. Try translating that using an online translator. A native French speaker typing a hurried email? Anyway, I emailed her back to tell her that I think I'm going to accept, but I need to talk to my parents and figure out a few more details first.
I think this is actually going to happen. Praise God!
I know, I know. Exciting title, huh? The purpose of this entry is to test out my new blog; thus, I couldn't think of a much better title for it than "first blog entry, " unless I wanted to call it "test blog entry." ANYWAY. I'm not sure yet when and if I'm going to tell other people that this site exists. I probably won't be posting on it much until I actually leave for France, although that could change.
Now. On to the purpose of the blog itself. I'm planning a lengthy séjour (in French, that means a visit or a stay) in France. I'm hoping to leave some time within the next three months. In fact, my friend Sarah just left three weeks ago for a year-long stay in Switzerland. She started her blog to keep friends and family updated while she is there. I thought that was an extremely good idea and planned to do it myself. Although I haven't left yet (and, in fact, don't know exactly when I'll be leaving or where I'll be going), I thought I would get the blog started now.
My reasons for wanting to go to France:
I studied French in college (and almost obtained a minor). I loved it. I became a proficient speaker/reader/writer, but aside from just learning new vocabulary (which I definitely need to do), I have become just about as good as I can here in the U.S. In order to become fluent in French, it will be necessary for me to spend an extended period of time immersed in the language. What better place to do it than in France? In addition, I want to travel and to experience a different culture and country. I'm young (22 right now) and unattached, so I can't think of a better time to go than right now. I've actually been wanting to go for about three years, but the timing has not been right. Three years later, the desire is still there, and I feel like the time is near. I've been praying that God would open the right doors and make it plain to me when I should walk through them. If the Lord doesn't lead me, I don't want to go. But I do feel that He is leading me to France!
My options as far as getting to France:
1. Register at a French language school and obtain an "internship" (read: full-time job that would pay like a full-time job but would technically be an "internship," since I would obtain a student visa [getting working papers in France is next to impossible for an American, especially for a short-term position and for someone without any real expertise]) at a law, public policy, or financial services firm. I currently have contacts that have attorney contacts in France contacting their contacts (whew!) to see if this might be possible.
2. Find an au-pair position.
Right now, I'm leaning toward option number two, which is definitely the easier of the two. If I were to get a job/internship, I would be required to find and pay for my own housing, as well as to find people with whom to speak French outside of my job (especially if I were using English in the workplace, which would be likely). As an au-pair, my room and board, schooling, and transportation is covered by the family. They also pay a small allowance (for instance, 90 euros per week) to cover other costs.
I have been corresponding with a family in Vertou (in the West of France, in the Loire-Atlantique region, very near to the city of Nantes). This family actually needs an au-pair to come right away, as their current au-pair just returned to her home country of Germany. I am not able to go until mid-October at the earliest, as I will be taking the LSAT on September 30 and then completing law school applications. The mother sent me an email yesterday to say that she had found a Czech au-pair that can come immediately and stay until the end of 2006, at which time I could come and stay until August 2007. As I was in the middle of writing her an email today to say that this might be possible but that I am going to continue searching for a family that would let me come around November 1, she called me from France! We had a nice conversation (in French), and she asked when I would prefer to come. I told her November 1, and she said that she is going to tell the Czech girl that she can come, but only for three months (meaning I could go in November). I'm waiting to hear back from her now, and I really hope that it works out. This family has four kids (a plus for me - the more kids, the more people there are with whom to practice my French), the parents are both doctors (thus, I know it will be a stable situation), and the family has been hosting au-pairs since 1995. Also, they would not require me to speak English in their home (a LOT of families looking for American au-pairs do; they want their children to learn English). Au contraire, I would be speaking French all day long. It seems like an ideal situation. If it doesn't work out, though, I know that there will be something better.
Well, this first entry has turned out to be pretty long, and I have a lot of studying to do before I take my LSAT next month. I will continue to post updates about my France endeavor, and maybe at some point, I'll give the URL out so that people can actually read it.
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